Jack is...10?
I'm not quite sure how this happened. I'm really having a rough time with this one.
T E N
10.
10. 10. 10. 10
T E N
So vivid are the memories. Exact times remain burned in my memory of that day. I don't remember what my name is half of the time, yet I remember that 4:47am on 7-7-07 I had my first real contractions and those contractions continued until 3 am on 7-8-07...the day my life was forever changed.
I guess that's why I remember the day so vividly. How could one forget the day their life was thrown upside down and all around? How does one forget the day they finally realize what they are meant to do in life. Being Jack's Mommy was just something I was born to do. I truly believe that, for as goofy as that sounds.
Oh Jack. In ten years, I've watched you grow and change and become such a special young man. Long gone are the baby days, the days where we both struggled to understand eachother. Long gone are the days are the diapers and bottles and pacifiers. Long gone are the sleepless nights and 4am feedings. Long gone are the terrible twos and the dreaded terrible threes. Long gone is the potty-training and teething. Long gone are the "firsts": steps, loose teeth, riding a bike, etc.
And here we are. So far removed from all of that 'baby" and little kid stuff, and we are about to embark on a whole new chapter of your life. Are we ready? I mean, really. Are we? Will we make it through this huge transition year for you (new school, new challenges) unscathed? Yeah, probably not, but, you know what? We will get through it TOGETHER like we've done everything else in your 10 years on this planet.
When I think back on the time when I was pregnant with you, I remember being so sick all of the time. Anemic, ovarian cysts, whacked out white blood counts, the flu, whooping cough, all day, all night "morning" sickness. I wondered if all of my physical pain and exhaustion would be worth it. I remember thinking if I really wanted to do this "mother" thing. All of the doubt, all of the health issues, all of the problems and anxiety, it all went away at 3am on 7-8-07.
My Jack. My special boy. My number one. The boy who stole my heart and made me a Mommy. Your smile lights up a room. You're very soft spoken and a boy of few words, but when you start talking about something you're passionate about (animals, robots, and most recently Pokemon) you light up and command attention.
You are a sensitive soul. You don't understand the sad things in the world. You care about the environment and animals. You love big. You struggle with being the eldest child. You love your siblings. You dislike your siblings. You love to build things. You hate reading. You love science. You have ideas...lots of ideas...of how to change the world. And, if given the opportunity, my love, I see you implementing those ideas. I believe in you SO much, My Boy, and I just know that whatever you put your mind to, you will excel.
You and Emma are best friends. You are growing up, side by side, together. You've always just been "JackAndEmma" and I see this continuing for the forseeable future. This doesn't mean that you don't fight and get on eachothers nerves, because, you do. A lot. But, she's the first person you look for to tell exciting news, and to vent about things. I love this and I hope it's always like this.
Alex is your biggest fan, and most of the time you appreciate this, but as of very recent times, he bugs the hell out of you and you yell at him to leave you alone. I guess you just don't get that he thinks you're the coolest big brother around and wants to be just like you and near you always. One day you'll see how much he loves you and you'll be best friends.
And then there is Sara. She LOVES you. She wants to be your friend. She wants to kiss and hug and just love you. And you barely deal with it and really are bothered by her. Hey look, I get it. She's intense and in your face and is like velcro and doesn't get boundaries (because she does it with everyone) but she does it because that is how she shows her love and appreciation for all of us. Your personalities just clash at times...I say 'at times' because there are times where you two are so close and get along so well. I understand that this is a normal sibling relationship, but I do much prefer the getting along over the fighting (says every parent EVER.) Just know that she loves you and in her eyes you are perfect.
You are growing up to be like your Dad. The sarcastic sense of humor, the love torturing me with gross words and stupid songs. It's hilarious, to be honest. I hope that you inherit his work ethic and energy because I think that will take you far in life.
And then there is You and I. You are my best friend. Plain and simple. You get me, and I get you. I will never stop fighting for you and believing in you. I love our heart to hearts. I love your ideas and how excited you get when you tell me about them. I love your sensitivity. I love your drawings and your stories. I love your freckles. I love how big your heart is. All of these things that I love are small parts of what make YOU, YOU. And boy, oh boy, do I love you.
I really do thank you for chosing me. I know I post the same song lyrics on everyone's birthday posts, but I don't think I ever wrote about how they make me feel. I do feel like you chose me. You are the exact first child that I wanted. How cool is that?! So thank you Jack. Thank you for 10 years of love and laughs and tears and lessons. Here is to many many many more years of the same. Thank you for teaching me more than I could ever teach you.
I love you, My Number One. My Baby Boy. My Dude. My Jackaboo.
I leave you with Our 4am Feeding Song. Whenever I hear it, I'm thrown back to those early days and I can't help but smile.
T E N
10.
10. 10. 10. 10
T E N
So vivid are the memories. Exact times remain burned in my memory of that day. I don't remember what my name is half of the time, yet I remember that 4:47am on 7-7-07 I had my first real contractions and those contractions continued until 3 am on 7-8-07...the day my life was forever changed.
I guess that's why I remember the day so vividly. How could one forget the day their life was thrown upside down and all around? How does one forget the day they finally realize what they are meant to do in life. Being Jack's Mommy was just something I was born to do. I truly believe that, for as goofy as that sounds.
Oh Jack. In ten years, I've watched you grow and change and become such a special young man. Long gone are the baby days, the days where we both struggled to understand eachother. Long gone are the days are the diapers and bottles and pacifiers. Long gone are the sleepless nights and 4am feedings. Long gone are the terrible twos and the dreaded terrible threes. Long gone is the potty-training and teething. Long gone are the "firsts": steps, loose teeth, riding a bike, etc.
And here we are. So far removed from all of that 'baby" and little kid stuff, and we are about to embark on a whole new chapter of your life. Are we ready? I mean, really. Are we? Will we make it through this huge transition year for you (new school, new challenges) unscathed? Yeah, probably not, but, you know what? We will get through it TOGETHER like we've done everything else in your 10 years on this planet.
When I think back on the time when I was pregnant with you, I remember being so sick all of the time. Anemic, ovarian cysts, whacked out white blood counts, the flu, whooping cough, all day, all night "morning" sickness. I wondered if all of my physical pain and exhaustion would be worth it. I remember thinking if I really wanted to do this "mother" thing. All of the doubt, all of the health issues, all of the problems and anxiety, it all went away at 3am on 7-8-07.
My Jack. My special boy. My number one. The boy who stole my heart and made me a Mommy. Your smile lights up a room. You're very soft spoken and a boy of few words, but when you start talking about something you're passionate about (animals, robots, and most recently Pokemon) you light up and command attention.
You are a sensitive soul. You don't understand the sad things in the world. You care about the environment and animals. You love big. You struggle with being the eldest child. You love your siblings. You dislike your siblings. You love to build things. You hate reading. You love science. You have ideas...lots of ideas...of how to change the world. And, if given the opportunity, my love, I see you implementing those ideas. I believe in you SO much, My Boy, and I just know that whatever you put your mind to, you will excel.
You and Emma are best friends. You are growing up, side by side, together. You've always just been "JackAndEmma" and I see this continuing for the forseeable future. This doesn't mean that you don't fight and get on eachothers nerves, because, you do. A lot. But, she's the first person you look for to tell exciting news, and to vent about things. I love this and I hope it's always like this.
Alex is your biggest fan, and most of the time you appreciate this, but as of very recent times, he bugs the hell out of you and you yell at him to leave you alone. I guess you just don't get that he thinks you're the coolest big brother around and wants to be just like you and near you always. One day you'll see how much he loves you and you'll be best friends.
And then there is Sara. She LOVES you. She wants to be your friend. She wants to kiss and hug and just love you. And you barely deal with it and really are bothered by her. Hey look, I get it. She's intense and in your face and is like velcro and doesn't get boundaries (because she does it with everyone) but she does it because that is how she shows her love and appreciation for all of us. Your personalities just clash at times...I say 'at times' because there are times where you two are so close and get along so well. I understand that this is a normal sibling relationship, but I do much prefer the getting along over the fighting (says every parent EVER.) Just know that she loves you and in her eyes you are perfect.
You are growing up to be like your Dad. The sarcastic sense of humor, the love torturing me with gross words and stupid songs. It's hilarious, to be honest. I hope that you inherit his work ethic and energy because I think that will take you far in life.
And then there is You and I. You are my best friend. Plain and simple. You get me, and I get you. I will never stop fighting for you and believing in you. I love our heart to hearts. I love your ideas and how excited you get when you tell me about them. I love your sensitivity. I love your drawings and your stories. I love your freckles. I love how big your heart is. All of these things that I love are small parts of what make YOU, YOU. And boy, oh boy, do I love you.
I really do thank you for chosing me. I know I post the same song lyrics on everyone's birthday posts, but I don't think I ever wrote about how they make me feel. I do feel like you chose me. You are the exact first child that I wanted. How cool is that?! So thank you Jack. Thank you for 10 years of love and laughs and tears and lessons. Here is to many many many more years of the same. Thank you for teaching me more than I could ever teach you.
I love you, My Number One. My Baby Boy. My Dude. My Jackaboo.
I leave you with Our 4am Feeding Song. Whenever I hear it, I'm thrown back to those early days and I can't help but smile.
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| Then |
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| Now |
Love love love
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