Accountability

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about my weight, and about change, and about this being "my time", and I'm doing Insanity, and eating clean and this, that and the other thing.

I'm here to tell you today that I've fallen.  Fallen hard.  It's just SO easy to fall when you don't have the willpower or the discipline to achieve the lofty goals that one sets.

I was doing Insanity every day like it was my job.  I yelled, and cursed and hates every second of it.  But, damn it, I felt accomplished.  Being so out of shape, it was very difficult for me to do all of the routine, but I tried every move.  Sometimes Most of the time, I looked and felt like a fool, but I did it anyway.

Then last Friday, I hit my head.  Hard.  Like concussion hard.  I was sick, felt off, wasn't myself for 3 days.  I decided to take some time off of Insanity, because I didn't think I should do such vigorous activity, while nursing a head injury.  I took it easy the whole weekend.  Apparently, I still think taking it easy is a good idea, because I've been not exercising or eating right since that day.

It sucks.  Any progress I made is certainly undone.  There is no one to blame by myself.  I need to get back on the horse.   I need to start again.  I need to sweat, and curse, and yell, and feel like a fool.

But, I just don't want to.

How do I get that spark back?  That motivation?  I was doing SO well, and now it's gone.

Moving forward now.  Time to stop complaining and be accountable for me.  This really IS my time.  It NEEDS to be my time.

So, here we go...again...